Random, random, bad

I don't know what to do with myself some days..

I feel kind of lost without a solid destination, I mean you can be lost but know where you're destination is.. you know?

So.. he decides to bring up that past..

The past I wanted to leave buried, it's what made me dive down into a hollow person..

What I used to be, what I used to do, what I used to think, feel...etc.

I remember, I was maybe in 4-5th grade when he told me what happened.

Of course I'm still mainly a kid, I refuse to understand what happened. To deny it all to keep the innocence.

That didn't last long.. a change came and took over.

You wouldn't have liked my thoughts nor my desires..

Argue how you will against this, I am just stating something.

As I learned that, I felt like I was an impurity by birth.

A fuck up that could never be undone except by a sweet suicide.

"..So you can do something right for once in your life."

Nice.. I know what you will think, but it hurt.

The one that's supposed to give love and remain unjudgemental.. says that..

What a lovely person, then later to bring up something worse.. something that makes me wish My Love had never found me. So I could have taken the bullet to the face, the blade to the neck, the hot metal against the wrist..

I am ashamed, I will admit I act like it never happened.. I was too little to remember nor do I ever want to remember. If I ever did.. I don't think I could handle it.

There are just some things you just don't bring up with me, and that is one major one.

..So I let a door shut in his face, wasn't a good idea but I was upset at him.

Not crying, yet. But A Calm Before the Storm.

Unfortunately later it all comes out, laying down feeling an empty calmness.

But that's just how we are these days.. snipes at each other. Never-ending and consistant.

--------

Life was made in a twist of a fairytale.
The princess was never to meet a happy ending.
As the prince fell for the wicked witch.
Godmothers being no Cupid, failed to change it.
The princess turned and ran away from the truth, so painful displayed in their eyes and words.
Tainted with hate and revenge as the prince and wicked witch sealed their love.
Tricking the Godmothers to make the princess a mystery.
A girl who holds two souls instead of just one was made then.
Easily adapting, easily denying, always running and hiding from the Tragic Truth.
The princess tried and failed to make it all go away.
Stumbling and apathetic to all things, she fell down as her other kept hold of their mask.
They found one place where the princess could forever dwell and never hurt.
In the sky, as a bright burning star with rage and despair for the cruel Fate written in the Twisted fairytale.
As a star, with the two souls still entwined.. they found a the black abyss as their evverlasting love.
Thus making for three souls to mix and to create a breathtakingly beautiful night sky.

--------

What'cha think?