Been quite some time..

Well.. Been almost a year now..

So much seems to have changed..

I feel so confused at times.

Like everything now is a dream, well partly a nightmare.

Sometimes I hope to never wake up..

I've finally realized that I've lost my childhood companion this year.

There are pictures of us smiling together.

Through my school pictures, you can notice the change from happy to sad.

I never thought of him as more than my brother. We fought like any other siblings.

Though it was different.. We started drifting away I guess, so we started becoming strangers..

And now, I feel like I don't really know who my brother was anymore.

I've lost a lot more though.. Friends in other states that I probably will not see again unless by a slim chance.

I wonder.. What does the world have in store next?

-------------------

I suppose I'm waiting now..

To see if he gets his job or not. Even if he does, he doesn't want to be here.

It's been made clear many times, with enough verbal fights to build a dam.

But.. I'm not that hurt to lose him.

Everything seems to be going downhill in the relationship.

He claims that I'd just shrug it off like it never happened.

I suppose if he believes that, then I should do just that.

But on the inside, I won't. Two and a half years.. Longer than the last and more complicated.

Though, I think it's a good thing it is coming to an end.

Regardless of what he says, I've made a fool of myself for him.

And I do not regret it.

♥

That's it for now.