So... Strange

Even more fighting..

Still over the same things.

I can understand his feelings... It's just, I'm more happy than sad.

If I told him why, things would not bode well.

Maybe a while after he's settled back in Nevada, I'll tell him.

Though I still don't think things will be good...

I've told him that we can remain friends. Like I do with most ex's.

Yet again, like most ex's, he wants to be more than friends. Is the fighting now not enough to show that it won't work?

I want to comfort him.. But I know what could happen and I don't want that.

I always was bad with break-ups... Doing what people thought was weak, having friends do it.

Maybe learning from an ex before him just helped this time. Spending over two years in an on-and-off relationship with the guy until I realized I was fooling myself that there was any love.

In this one, it was not lust. I hold feelings for him, but certain people just.. can't get any closer. Yes, I do realize it's me that's doing so.. But, when I wish to reveal things, I shall. Not be forced into it or guilt-ed into it.

It's frustrating! Sometimes he's so dramatic, well, in my opinion.

Saying if he stayed any longer he'd probably hate me.

Asking questions I cannot fully answer.

Why did I pursue him if I knew I'd hurt him? Always hoping it's different, but still hurting the other..

What to do, what is one to do?

Off with such negativity! This year has not been a good one with so much of it.

Aria-san found him worthy, of that I'm grateful. Though she promised to always be watching like the protective sister-friend she is to me.

Oh, I can't get him out of my head! Not that I'd want to anyways.

No sleep would come until the early morn'! My thoughts circling themselves around him.

Which led me to start thinking, I've been so forgetful lately, and I figured it out.

With my thoughts on him and constantly in touch with him, everything else just... gets forgotten.

Always awaiting for responses ♥

Having been good friends for years has helped build a trust with him that I don't have with many people.

My soon-to-be ex told me that he's noticed the only person I really listen to is my father.

It's true. My father and my recently deceased brother were always in my life, wherever I'd go, either one or both would be there too. Through the bad and good of it all, so I cannot shut them out from my well-build walls.

Which has happened to my soon-to-be ex, I wish it wasn't so.. But I do things without really thinking or understanding until later or not at all.

But with him, I'm willing to let him through.. As said before, I trust him. Without really thinking of it because I know he'll tell me the truth, even if it hurt.

Oh my, there's no other way to put it really.

He's just simply perfect!

Quite frankly his stare makes me want to hide in pleasant fear that he'll start ripping clothes off!!

Yes, I've realized lately that my posts are about guys. But I'm not sorry in the least, I'd enjoy just talking about him or with him.

♥♥♥ Ciao~!