Till next time!

Ah.. so much

Random bits..

It was really nice to talk to one of my old friends again

It's like.. impossible to have classes with him because he's a grade lower

Anyways, not to much really happened

P.E. was interesting lol

Picture day so no dress, the topic in the randomly gathered group

[Followed my old friend cause I wanted to talk to him]

Then everyone else just joined, anyways!

Topic: What is a dominate guy in bondage called? Since a dominate girl in bondage is like called a Mistress

Well.. that's what me and my old friend were talking about

It's just so fun to mess around with people :O

I realized something..

Like a ton of people that are friends with my brother and vaguely friends with me

End up becoming my friend more, like my ex-best guy friend/ex-boyfriend

I always thought of him as my brother's friends and I had a personal rule to never date his friends

[insert long title here] told me, he was my friend.

Not my brother's

Just thought I'd share that, it just occurred to me because..

This other guy that was real good friends with my brother no longer hangs out with him because my brother acts weird and is always saying the guy should get laid

And now in P.E. whenever our classes merge, him && I are usually talking

Yes, I also realize my posts will contain more school info and less names.

I see confusion in the future!

Anyways.. I was plagued by a few old questions

About our transition from trading to using money occurred..

Doubt it will ever go away.

Oh, funny thing to me

My zero hour teacher commented on my words..

In our book we had to define them, and no one else was giving an answer

I just thought it was funny because I'm not actually that great with words

Eeek!

Eh..

Just sore.. -_-;

Somehow my arm is being weird

Like.. it hurts when I move it a certain way, then I'll rotate it to try and fix the problem..

Works for a while then goes back

Ah.. just so odd

Wake up happy then go super unhappy then be brought back up by a little kid ;)

Just... WOW

I love you!!!

A mess.. is what I am

Okay you idiots..

If you see girls, don't stare and say something stupid!

Just move on. :/

Random topics happened with me and her.

Yesterday we went to like.. the mall, Target, Wal-Mart, McD's, and Rue 21.

The mall: we had to rush around

Target: we had some time, I checked out some shoes while these idiots were walking by

They apparently stared then started talking in Spanish.

Reminding my friend of when she was at a store and Mexicans were making fun of her boobs.

Thus causing me to say: "I think you have nice boobs."

She didn't find it creepy I said that, but it was so weird to say.

Wal-Mart wasn't much to it, just randomly talked to some girls in the bathroom.

Ha ha.. yeah, you read right.

Then we went over to McD's to visit this guy.

He had really bright blue eyes, and he did look like a bobble-head they had there.

After that we went to Rue 21, I tried to rush my friend so we wouldn't miss the bus.

We missed it.. :/

So.. we backlogged to McD's to see if the guy would give us a ride. [Unfortunately there were a series of lies that happened.. Not going into it.]

I kept laughing through the whole ride, distracting them both.

But they were distracting each other too, I think they both have to look at people when they talk.

The guy almost rearended two cars on the way to my friend's house.

The topics were just random and I was meant to get info from him.

Then she screamed after he was gone because she was just insanely happy.

Watched TV like we usually do.

Interesting... the show was Exposed, Celeb edition

Some fake stuff there.. totally decided that right then.

Bah..

Dad is finally leaving me alone, thank gawd.

This year may break me..

Overload for school.. :/

I will resume my non-social outside of school time.

You think it will change?

Ha! I've been this for years, I'm perfectly fine with not hanging out with people.

You say you know stuff.. but do you really?

Open up to other options dear..

It won't hurt, things don't always go as you would assume but oh well.

Everything is changing..

Maybe I should stop this.. go back to being unheard.

Life is becoming so confusing.

You say you will help me?

I know I can go to people for help.. I know they are there.

But I don't go, I don't talk to them.

I prefer to listen, sometimes.. yes, I like to be alone.

Because I need time to think rather than be around other people.

Is it possible.. I will become that Crazy Cat Lady?

It seems we're falling, and I'm losing hold..

I don't know what it is..

I can't change anything.. I'm just stuck as I am.

Here is something for you..

I thought about it.. about resuming my old bad habits..

But I couldn't.. just couldn't.

I could see exactly what would happen..

Going back to them, then not really taking to them..

Then curling up and crying because I failed..

I'm becoming lost.. I don't know where my future is heading very much..

I just know I have things to do.. but what they are..

Most of the time I don't know.

I want to be with you, but you keep doubting..

Yes.. I admit, I was still secretly scared you'd crush me..

But that's going away.. now I'm just afraid of hurting you

Take my heart, and hold it tight.
I don't want it back.. ever
I entrust you to care for it
If I leave, don't follow
You won't like it
Where I will end..
Maybe it will be better
Bring my end..

Meh.. don't ask, random stuff. :/

I guess I'm just a mess of insecurities..

And a river of endless thoughts..

GOD DAMNIT!

I give up.. think what you want, I'm done arguing..

Just say what isn't true.. just say it and crush me.

I will hold my words, say what you won't argue with..

Go and belittle yourself.. I'll hide with my statements you don't believe.

And take my hurt in silence..

I love you.. even if you think it's the worst..

Don't ask me about anything on this post.. I will not talk about it.

Finally..

Guess I finally know how you view me.. Dad

Took forever, douchebag.

And I think you meant for me to hear it.. not sure.

Maybe you don't know that you can never be quiet.

Well.. I guess I deserve it.

My brother should be the favorite and stay the favorite.

You say you don't play favorites, but you do.

I now know you think I am a metalcase, a whore, and stupid.

I'd say: "Since you think that way.. maybe I should be that way!"

But I'm not.. because I have someone special.

And you're right Dad, I would take that car and leave.

But not to California like my dear aunt.

Ha! I wouldn't even tell you.

I'd ditch the car before going anywhere near where I wanted to be.

And you know what?

I'll do what I want and how I see fit!

You think I'm pale? So what!

Sure.. you want to change yourself so you can attract women.

Go for it!

Just leave me alone. If I'm ever to change it will be by my desire to do so!

And if you comment on getting my hair thinned one more time I will fucking scream.

You don't understand that pain.. UGH!

You say: "Oh it doesn't hurt, the hairdressers just don't know what they are doing."

Bullshit.. Bullshit.. Bullshit!

Oh.. and you wanna know something?

Every day.. when it's about time for you to come back to the house.

I hope that you never make it back here!

And you know what?

I don't care if you don't trust my friends!

Just don't call them names behind their back and be so fucking friendly to their faces!

She does ask questions.. the questions I don't want to be asked nor to answer.

But I have to..

That day.. she hid in my room and listened to you yell at my brother..

I was glad it wasn't yesterday, for her to hear how you actually feel.

If she ever heard that.. I don't think I could ever face her again.

I have a new idea.. but I think it would fail.

Horribly, so I won't speak of it.

Heh..

Well yesterday's post was cut short..

My dad came home.

He was mad..

Then my brother ratted on me that my friend was over..

I hate it.. never before was I ever restricted on having friends over.

It makes no sense!

Oh well.. it's life.

So.. I have to save like.. seven hundred and fifty dollars.

You're probably wondering why?

Ha! I'm not gonna tell you.

I often wonder why about a lot of things..

If you haven't noticed.

I'm a curious creature, though not all the time.

Part of my life I was actually able to annual majority of my emotions.

And I wasn't curious for that time being.

Until I tried for love.. Gawd..

What a ride and damn does it show how stupid I really am.

But in the end.. it was worth it for what I have now.

I was sad... really sad.

But what can I do?

Well.. many things, but I really didn't do anything.

My sweetie made it all better whether he knows it or not!

Blah!

Well today is good.

Woke up early, talked to a few people.

Interesting day at the mall.

lmao, "Don't Talk to Strangers!"

Sorry girl, never listened to the rule. ;)

Still sounding like him, aren't I creepy?

OMG!

What that lady said was so sweet and amazing!

"It goes on your left hand. [Engagement ring] Wanna know why? Because your left hand goes straight to your heart."

It made my friend's day.

Theories..?

The days are getting better gradually.

School is coming soon, how it will work out.

I'm not quite sure, but it will definately be an interesting year.

For once nothing terrible has happened.

But I could be speaking too soon..

I still wonder how people set their morals.

I mean.. what defines right and wrong?

Why must things that cause pain be labeled as wrong? And vise versa for good?

Questions never cease.. even if answered.

So why are we made curious?

If not all questions can be answered..

And usually it all comes back to: Who/what made this..?

We have leaders.. and dictators, we listen to them.

So sure that they know more than we do about life.

But it's possible, that they don't.

That if we didn't have someone or something to follow..

We'd be lost, or too afraid to make a move of our own.

Some of us just don't know what to do.. if we're doing something correctly

Or doing something someone doesn't like.

Well.. these are just my theories.

But there are some people that just like to control other people.

So it works for those kind of people. :)

Ah.. well, I shall leave now.

Don't need more to read now do you?