A mess.. is what I am

Okay you idiots..

If you see girls, don't stare and say something stupid!

Just move on. :/

Random topics happened with me and her.

Yesterday we went to like.. the mall, Target, Wal-Mart, McD's, and Rue 21.

The mall: we had to rush around

Target: we had some time, I checked out some shoes while these idiots were walking by

They apparently stared then started talking in Spanish.

Reminding my friend of when she was at a store and Mexicans were making fun of her boobs.

Thus causing me to say: "I think you have nice boobs."

She didn't find it creepy I said that, but it was so weird to say.

Wal-Mart wasn't much to it, just randomly talked to some girls in the bathroom.

Ha ha.. yeah, you read right.

Then we went over to McD's to visit this guy.

He had really bright blue eyes, and he did look like a bobble-head they had there.

After that we went to Rue 21, I tried to rush my friend so we wouldn't miss the bus.

We missed it.. :/

So.. we backlogged to McD's to see if the guy would give us a ride. [Unfortunately there were a series of lies that happened.. Not going into it.]

I kept laughing through the whole ride, distracting them both.

But they were distracting each other too, I think they both have to look at people when they talk.

The guy almost rearended two cars on the way to my friend's house.

The topics were just random and I was meant to get info from him.

Then she screamed after he was gone because she was just insanely happy.

Watched TV like we usually do.

Interesting... the show was Exposed, Celeb edition

Some fake stuff there.. totally decided that right then.

Bah..

Dad is finally leaving me alone, thank gawd.

This year may break me..

Overload for school.. :/

I will resume my non-social outside of school time.

You think it will change?

Ha! I've been this for years, I'm perfectly fine with not hanging out with people.

You say you know stuff.. but do you really?

Open up to other options dear..

It won't hurt, things don't always go as you would assume but oh well.

Everything is changing..

Maybe I should stop this.. go back to being unheard.

Life is becoming so confusing.

You say you will help me?

I know I can go to people for help.. I know they are there.

But I don't go, I don't talk to them.

I prefer to listen, sometimes.. yes, I like to be alone.

Because I need time to think rather than be around other people.

Is it possible.. I will become that Crazy Cat Lady?

It seems we're falling, and I'm losing hold..

I don't know what it is..

I can't change anything.. I'm just stuck as I am.

Here is something for you..

I thought about it.. about resuming my old bad habits..

But I couldn't.. just couldn't.

I could see exactly what would happen..

Going back to them, then not really taking to them..

Then curling up and crying because I failed..

I'm becoming lost.. I don't know where my future is heading very much..

I just know I have things to do.. but what they are..

Most of the time I don't know.

I want to be with you, but you keep doubting..

Yes.. I admit, I was still secretly scared you'd crush me..

But that's going away.. now I'm just afraid of hurting you

Take my heart, and hold it tight.
I don't want it back.. ever
I entrust you to care for it
If I leave, don't follow
You won't like it
Where I will end..
Maybe it will be better
Bring my end..

Meh.. don't ask, random stuff. :/

I guess I'm just a mess of insecurities..

And a river of endless thoughts..

GOD DAMNIT!

I give up.. think what you want, I'm done arguing..

Just say what isn't true.. just say it and crush me.

I will hold my words, say what you won't argue with..

Go and belittle yourself.. I'll hide with my statements you don't believe.

And take my hurt in silence..

I love you.. even if you think it's the worst..

Don't ask me about anything on this post.. I will not talk about it.