Hmm..

Things seem to be calming down a bit.

I can't believe November is close to being here.

That leaves just another month and a few weeks to go.

Not sure what's going to happen really.

But things will happen as they always do.

Well I told him of things in my past.

Fun stuff, right?

It's starting to feel unreal, all of that.

Like it was all a dream of what I can remember.

Funny how for both my half-brother was there.

Oh well, we're not really close and doubt we will ever be.

Heck, for the longest time I forgot about him.

Mhm, I'll start posting what poems I can find shortly.

Probably tomorrow and the next if I can.

Wish he'd just take her to the beach and leave me alone at the house.

It'd be very nice.

Well, I'm off to go try and progress more in my book.

Ciao!

Fun..

Finally got some problems taken care of.

My license is in the process of being mailed to me.

Got contacts.. thinking of getting colored ones.

Most likely a hazel or a pretty blue.

I know you like my brown eyes, but I'd like to play with the color.

As I do with my hair from time to time, when utterly bored and unsure of what to do with it.

It's strange though... These things give the world a dream-like quality to me.

Hm.. I see the doctor come November 5th.

I'm wondering if he'll give anything to help my skin or if it'll just be like most of the other products given to me.

The steroids were the worst! And the anti-biotic pills weren't much fun either.

My father says it's all from stress.

Which I am getting with everything going on.

It's one problem after another with just this state and house.. plus the cars..

Luckily the job wasn't such a problem.

Part of me still wants to just run away, but I'd be running to nothing.

Any money I have right now would be gone quickly.

The other part knows I have to build some kind of good background to help attain jobs and other needed things.

I keep hoping that my father will just give up on this house..

It's lovely, but it's been massive problems.

Will it ever end?

Is that all I am to look forward to with this place??

My father keeps pushing some things on me, that I'm not quite sure I can take care of.

He's trying to get me a different phone service under my own name.

He's paid off the car insurance for six months.

After that, it's my problem and I'd have to get full coverage otherwise he'd probably get mad should I get in an accident without it. (Should that ever happen, I hope that I'd die! He'd never let me live it down otherwise)

The insurance lady at Pronto said that at around the age twenty-one, car insurance starts to drop.

I've got less than three years to go for that..

The energy bill was nearly two hundred dollars last month. We've yet to fully figure out if they are stealing energy from us or not.

The cable bill is manageable, unless my father changes the plan.

The garbage only comes every three months.

And the Internet may be a squeeze.

I'm lost as to what to do.

The house is to be mine.. but I really don't want it.

It's not something I've ever dealt with before and could careless about having.

Even as you own it, you still have to pay for it each year.

Wouldn't it be easier to just rent a place then..?

I suppose whenever his time comes, things will most likely get worse.

He's setting things up for me, yet even with that.. I know there will be problems.

And not to mention everyone suddenly wanting to be your dearest friend for what you have.

Though.. At least I'd be able to disappear from them all and find a state I haven't been to yet to settle down in.

Even then.. I'm not sure what I'd do with it.

In the end.. I'm looking forward to the near future, but not the distant future.

Ciao ♥♥♥


(P.S. You can be my bouncer ;] )

Jeez...

Not much got done today.

He shouldn't have bothered much with the guy at Lowe's.

I don't believe the guy really knew what he was doing nor understood what my father wanted.

Tried to indicate that we should leave by saying we should just go to Home Depot.

In the end, he canceled it and we did go to Home Depot.

Only to try to get the patio doors set up right.

Not sure if he canceled that too or not.

That Squirrel-y Guy was there.

Wonder why I'm deciding to call him that?

Well.. Wednesday? I believe it was.

My father and I were running around (yet again) and we were seeking out a washer & dryer.

Hit up Home Depot. for it.

Squirrel-y Guy takes the... service?

And it's like he can't stop looking around and stuff.

So, he's Squirrel-y Guy.

Anyways, today my father points him out.

He wasn't Squirrel-y at all.. But later down the time frame.

Father: "You should go flirt with him and knock on his door."

Me: "Oh yes.. Knock, knock. Hi!" *looking at father like he's a retard*

It's hard to tell when he's joking and being serious.

So, opt for sarcasm!

Stuff like this happens from time to time.

But still.. very weird.

Later down the time frame I'm attempting to get my license changed over.

Couldn't read the last box on the eye-thing, so now I have to get my eyes checked.

I'm not a happy camper about that at all.

So.. Contacts will probably be the best solution, since it's only my right eye I had trouble with.

If I did have to get glasses... I'm not quite sure.

Have to wait on the eye-doctor and then try again for the license.

As I've said before.. This state is nothing but problems!

My father's itching to put that poor excuse of a woman into a nursing home.

And I'm not far behind him on agreement.

Besides.. I'd be free from having to stay here because of her.

Yes, that's the reason I'm kind of stuck here.

Oh, I could leave. It'd be hard, but I could.

Then if they sought me out, there would be nothing but guilt trips and all that wishy-washy stuff.

Though I will admit, when I'm free of her.. I'm not quite sure what I'll do.

It feels like she'll be around forever!!!

Most people have yet to understand that I only harbor hatred towards her.

She gave birth to me, yes. But that's the only connection we have and I'd love to have it severed.

My father thinks I need to spend time with her. (And I've no choice but to spend time with her due to that)

I'm sure some of you know that I don't take well to being forced into stuff.

He's even asked me to tell her that I love her and I forgive her!

I will not do such a ridiculous thing.

I forgive her for nothing! She's cursed the lives she's given from the start.

And continues to ruin everything around her even as she's dying.

She will not change her ways of lying, smoking, and drama!

I fear for those around me should I ever become like her.

I despise being told I share anything with her.

Or being compared to.

... Oops, started ranting without realizing it.

Well.. I looked over my father's shoulder when he was texting her.

Apparently she called me a liar to my father.

Here's the thing: If you're honest to me, I'll be honest to you.

Of course, if it'll hurt you, I'll try to figure out a good time in which to tell you. But I'll still tell you in the end.

Besides, I've nothing to hide from him.

Hmm, I suppose that's it for today.

Trying to get the house stuff done with my father and trying to figure out plans for the coming months.

I'll have to tell my father closer to the end of November.

Otherwise she'll be talking and bugging and all those other annoying things about my plans.

Not to mention she'd probably spread it to the entire family.

One of the most irritating things ever is that!

Personal private business is suppose to stay personal and private.

Oh well, I'll just have to wait for things to happen for now.

Might post tomorrow, depends on what I have to do.

♥♥♥

Rawr~

Still getting stuff done for the house.

It's been completely never-ending!

But I'll be looking for a cheap ticket in December shortly.

To get it done as soon as possible and have that set.

Then save for gas and other things while taking care of the house.

Hopefully I can get another person to take care of and reach a forty hour week.

I've been sleeping decently now.. Though from time to time I do wake up randomly with my heart rate quite high.

With rather weird dreams too.

But I have weird dreams often, so I suppose that's not too strange.

Apparently, it's my fault that the puppy keeps taking her clothing and leaving it laying about.

Honestly, I feel bad for any animals left in her care.

She's becoming very crabby lately. Which is probably because my father and I mostly disregard what she says.

I must go now.

♥ Mike ♥

Ciao~

What a whirlwind..

Well.. Illinois was fun like usual.

First day there and it was a constant party, which I was far from expecting.

Stuff started to unfold and I was looking to stay there.

It felt so nice to be back and away from her and all the issues around here.

But the friend I was going to stay with flipped out on me pretty badly..

It was a low-blow to the heart.

Changed my plans back to the original ones.. Father talked me back.

I got a beautifully blue new car.

Sadly, he wasn't able to visit before I had to leave.

Went down to Georgia...

Mountains are very beautiful, but I will not live on them.

The steep inclines and the whacked roads are simply not for me.

Well, we didn't stay there long.

Shortly after we back-tracked a bit to head back to Texas.

It was a slow-yet-fast process.

There were a lot of car accidents and construction.

Got back in the afternoon on Sunday.

Been crazy since then.

Trying to get things down for the house..

If we're even getting the house still.

Not sure I'd want to live here long, if a feud starts, I'm getting out.

Besides... It seems like this state is full of problems for us.

Anyways.. I've got the job to basically be her slave.

Started.. Yesterday.

It's been a complete headache/nightmare with her!

And I don't have much choice but to deal with her until she goes off.

Though, coming December-January, he should be down here with me.

It'll be great! Though I'll be up there with him for a week-ish.

I really cannot wait.

He really cares, loves, and stuffs about me. It's hard not to be happy with him, even when others are putting me in a sour mood.

I love him and I could careless about what others think of it all.

Honestly.. I'd take my new car and drive up there with my bad sense of direction and no GPS system just to see him for a while.

But I can't do that, not with the job so new and the car still needing to be transferred over... and needing gas money.

Well, I must go.

Pretty much summed up what's been going on lately.

Mike, I love you very, very, very, very much!

Ciao! ♥♥♥

Oh Joy!

Oh, I cannot wait!

Just two more days and I'll be in Illinois again for the second time this year.

This is the most I've traveled in one year. Between just three states!

Though there may be a fourth later on.

Curious to my hyper-happy state?

Well it's simple.

He's planning to visit while I'm up there.

Still have to work out a few factors but for the most part it should happen. ♥

Strange though, when I plan to visit one of my friends, he wants to come.

And when she wants to visit, I plan to visit him.

Hmmm~~~♥

All in all.. It's actually really good now.

Actually doing stuff around the house again!!

Felt like such a lazy bum... I don't know, just didn't really want to clean when he was around.

He even pointed out it to me (after the break up)

Oh well, I guess it is for the better?

Apparently, my brother disliked him too and didn't like me being so far away from my parents.

I will only partly believe this, because she said it doesn't mean it's always true.

Though I guess someone's finally telling my father what happened with me and a different ex.

And now he doesn't like that ex so much.

Go figure~

Ciao! ♥♥♥

Even in the Midst of Battle

Endless chatter - Auto Ignore

Call me heartless all you want, but you'll grow to hate me.

Which sucks cause you'd be a really awesome friend, sometimes.

He's worse than a pregnant lady right now.

Though he is getting super close to hitting the nail on the head.

Honestly, I kind of worry for him, but I won't comfort him. He's still trying to make it work when it's over.

I think he's right that the dog doesn't like him touching me and that the dog may be in love with me.

The dog usually bites at him, playfully, whenever he does.

And the dog follows me after he loses sight of me, he was barking like mad today when I was constantly on my phone and not giving him attention.

He just needs to hate me. Everything would be easier that way.

Saying you'll wait? Not a good idea really. My life just goes wherever.

Just waiting to tell him now..

I have to figure out some way to get to visit him for New Years.

Finally want a good New Years rather than a painful one or one spent with drunks.

Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed by holidays, I've had such crappy ones recently.

More research is in order!

Always disliked the "Parent Meeting Guy" situations.

But I don't think this one will be so bad, though I really will hide in a closet.

It's big enough for me to sleep in, so if it does go bad, I have a really good place to hide in should no one come looking.

He brought up a good point, I never chase guys.

I would have gladly chased him ♥

I guess I kind of did, in a weird way though.

December needs to hurry up!

Lately, I've been feeling like actually doing stuff.

I really hope everything works out with the house and we don't have to move again.

It's a complicated mess, one I'll have to explain to him before he comes here.

Something should happen before then that will show whether we are or aren't staying in the house.

All in all, he's becoming more perfect by the day.

And I love him even more by the day.

Thoughts are still racing for now.

Ciao~♥